At what age am I truly considered old enough to know better, young enough to learn better?


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Over the years I have heard so many times over, that oh he or she are young and that’s why they are doing what they do.  Now I believe this to an extent, and that extent becomes an excuse; when it gets to the point that the person continues to repeatedly do things in the same manner upon which they started.  Ask yourself, what are you willing to change about your life?  Will you continue to be the same person that you were at 18 @ 30? Will you continue to blossom as intended by god? Will you wake up one day and find love knocking @ your door? How about, will you wake up and say to yourself, as stated by a friend (Abbe)”Being good is good” and go out on a journey to be good?

Well some of these are unanswered for a reason, cause you simply haven’t found the answer yet.  But that doesn’t mean you won’t find the answer, it may not be the answer that you need.   So I say “want the change that you know is good, and not the change that you feel is good.”  I feel that at early ages we learn right from wrong, but we choose to not try to understand why it’s wrong; however we are willing to deal with the consequences repeatedly.  I remember when I first took a drag on a cigarette, hmm I might have been bout 14 or so.  I remember getting really nauseated @first, thinking to myself why am I the only one getting ill from this.  I mean all of my friends had no side effects, but after my momentarily illness; but in the end I felt what I thought was a good buzz.  But for it to be a process upon which it started off bad, then felt better later; this truly made me not wanna smoke cigarettes.  However all my friends at the time soon ended up addicted to cigarettes; it didn’t dawn on me until I was older and I realized this was a blind blessing in disguise.  For me it was 1 less payment plan to submit to, and 1 less addiction that no one truly needs in their life.

At age 21, I knew better than to play around with things that you can get addicted to; But I chose to in reason that I felt I needed a crutch to hold me up.  Now this was no excuse cause as a child I had witnessed my mothers struggle with her addictions that truly made me resent her, because I had felt she chose it over us.  Here I am at 27 finally understanding what she was going through, because I used the excuse that oh I will change someday, but I don’t need to now since what I am doing makes me feel good.  I smile and think to myself what a silly person I once were towards my mother growing up and how I soon fell into a similar situation.  Because I realized the same excuses she had for her choice to use, where the same ones I had, and that was simply the feeling that we both got from it.

So I conclude that you are who you are because of who you want to be at this point in life, so don’t think like I did and accept your ways, but instead make the change today.  You will soar to higher places and conquer much more if you let go what continues to haunt you, control is the best thing you can use to steer past all obstacles.  Everyone lives with secrets, but they shouldn’t allow them to keep them stagnant; cause in actuality you are the only excuse for not allowing for change to set in.  Do you truly want to regret what you could have done when you were 18,21,25, even 30 forever? I am sure not, so give into the change you need and not the change you feel is good, cause we all truly know what’s good and what’s not.

There becomes a time in your life when you realize who and what matters,  who and what didn’t matter, who and what won’t matter, and who and what will always matter; so don’t worry about why. Because it was definitely a reason for this, so let that realization set in today and not tomorrow.  Until next time, I want you to live, love and learn….

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